// to love…//

love as a feeling seems often to elude me. I wish to know love, to know it deeply and personally. God is love. I know Him. But what does it take to go so so much deeper? I am baffled. 

My heart has resigned itself to one thing. To know love and to endeavor to love another the same. Until then I suppose I shall feel this way. 

This shouldn’t sound sad for it is the beginning of a journey of knowing and being known. A journey I suppose I must take with Jesus in order to take it with a wife. For if I cannot be intimate with the one who already knows all about me, how can I be intimate with someone who must discover me? 

Many would say, go for it and work it out in the midst, but where my feelings stand now, I do not see within myself the ability to love as I would want to be loved. A pure, true love would be something I want, not something I have to force myself to do. That’s the love I need to know. That’s the love I hope to show…

(this is where I start, 2 days ago I asked God to teach me experientially love, I don’t know what this journey will look like, nor where it will take me, but it’s about time I get on the wagon and move onward)